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Post by JR on Jul 21, 2011 18:02:26 GMT -6
Well I hope none of you have a day like these poor people!
THE CHURCH DINNER...
A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games.
The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts - Janet wanted to outdo all the others.
Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But, mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms. They are too high."
He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."
She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."
He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK. So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.
After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 & dominoes.
About then, the helper lady from town, came in and whispered in Janet's ear. She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died." Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs & the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."
They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time, the helper lady came in and said,
"You know that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped
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Junior
Currently Offline
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Joined: Jul 9, 2011 21:40:06 GMT -6
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Post by mcalli on Jul 27, 2011 7:44:02 GMT -6
Jr, hysterical. laughed out loud!
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Post by richardthescooter3 on Aug 25, 2011 17:26:48 GMT -6
Good one:)))
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New Student
Currently Offline
Scooting Downunder! :)
Posts: 27
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Joined: Jul 11, 2011 19:53:51 GMT -6
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Post by kiwiscoot on Aug 28, 2011 16:34:19 GMT -6
He wasn't on a scooter for sure as he would've had a forced stop haha
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Post by JR on Aug 29, 2011 4:17:27 GMT -6
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
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Post by Bong on Aug 29, 2011 11:24:18 GMT -6
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